I'm an artist, sortof. I like art, and I like attempting to translate emotions into something visual. Sometimes it's not 2 dimensional; sometimes it's in 3d like theatrics. I try to think outside the box, because I'm not really sure I got a box to begin with.
Mom and dad are both artists. Mom doesn't have an account here, but my dad does. ( ~
TimBryner ) He does a lot of abstract sort of paintings, and likes to work in three dimensions. His paint strokes have texture that he leaves on, and sometimes he incorporates unusual found objects into his work. He didn't go to school for art, and I daresay that his irreverence for the 'rules' is evident. It's also what makes his work unique; he tries to capture color in emotion. That's what's different about my dad.
Mom is different; she went to art school and got an AA for design. She's very talented, but her drawings lack the emotion that my father makes up for in leaps and bounds. I've always looked up to her because I felt that her "proper" and rule abiding way of doing things was correct. Though both parents were very critical, and neither taught me a damn thing. No, wait. Mom once attempted to teach me how to draw eyes. My sisters and I, as the progeny of two artists, learned by observation. Somehow though, I still felt painfully deprived. In art classes, the students would get angry at us because we made something that looked, in their opinion, better than their own. Just because something is technically correct doesn't mean it's something I'd be proud of.
In fact, that's my current problem. When I joined dA, my powers of observation ("this goes next to this...and sticks thiiiis much further out than that..." ) were the only tools I had at my disposal. Really, the preciousness of it all is frustrating. Without proper background in anatomy and how things actually look, I felt like I was spinning in a circle and not going anywhere. I could make shapes that resembled the right one...but my perspective was always confused. Friends were excited about my drawings, but I felt like they were hollow. They were based off a photograph and had very little life of their own...like a more tedious version of what a scanner might do. Right now, that is my biggest artistic battle. I'm tired of making copies and trying to breathe life into something, and I'm struggling with color theory. I sat through a lecture today given by visiting artist Caroline Lathan-Stiefel (
[link] ) and started hating the fact that I can't translate my visions in the same way. Nothing I do will ever impress either of my parents, but this learning process isn't for THEM.
This leads me to another current problem. I am currently enrolled in a drawing-for-nonmajors class at Towson because I wanted to learn the basics and how to actually draw without dragging my hand across the paper which creates some foggy little blob of a subject. I feel like I'm actually progressing and learning, but with each exercise the class is getting progressively angrier with me. Tonight, the teacher asked me if I wasn't secretly a Senior Painting student or something while the class was quite vocal about the fact that I was pissing them off. I've got some news for them:
My art isn't good. I'm learning. I am only just learning to express myself now that I'm getting the basics. And they're adults, and this childishness is unbecoming.
Want proof? Today we had one hour to draw ourselves in a mirror from observation, at a 3/4 turn, using the methods we learned earlier in class.
This is what mine wound up looking like:

It's somewhere between me, a Native American and a Spanish Conquistador. I even drew a goatee on myself for fun at one point. It's mediocre at best, but I guess in a room where everyone was drawing footballs with lines through them I was an easy target for anger.
My parents were always hard on me (and my siblings) when it came to art. It's hard to hear things like that when you're growing up, but I've developed a thick skin about my work because of it. I've learned to appreciate both a flaw, and a beautiful flaw...and that they both have a place in art. It's okay to scribble and make mistakes.
My goal for the upcoming year is to be less afraid of digital painting...and ordinary painting...and just earn the freedom to color outside the lines without having a conniption. *sigh*